On this episode of the podcast I talk about Peyton Mannng shilling for corporate dollars. He actually kissing Papa John in between plugging his beer partner.
I talk about Cam Newton being a poor sport, and if that matters.
I also talk about the Super bowl Halftime show, why Coldplay sounded so bad, Derek Fisher needing to watch out for Matt Barnes, Johnny Manziel, and LeSean McCoy alleged assault.
And Discount Tire, I have no faith in you.
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Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose
Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane
Peyton Manning has narrowed his list of potential teams down to two: The Denver Broncos and the Tennessee Titans. Before I continue writing, I feel obligated to tell all of you that Peyton Manning’s career is over. A week from now he will be 36 years-old, with three neck surgeries in an eight-month span, and by the time the 2012 season starts, it will have been 20 months since he’s taken a snap in an NFL game. The two physical traits any player needs to succeed at the quarterback position in the NFL are arm strength and field vision. The type of nerve damage Manning suffered will not only take velocity off of his throws, it will also limit neck mobility, which will ultimately limit his field vision. If Peyton Manning was anybody other than Peyton Manning, no General Manager in their right mind would even give him a chance, let alone a $15,000,000 (I’m looking at you, Daniel Snyder).… Read More
Houston Texans vs Baltimore Ravens
I don’t know about you’ll, but I’ve had to remind myself about five times this week that the Texans are in the playoffs. It seemed like it was impossible for them to make it in the playoffs, let along the first round. However, then I’m reminded that they played the Cincinnati Bengals.
So you have the Texans vs the Ravens. This my friend is going to be a massacre. However, let me act like the Texans have a chance for the next paragraph.
The Texans have some great skill position players. I think everyone would have to admit that they have the best running back and wide receiver in the playoffs. Also they still have the number one regular season defense. Now if they bring all those components to Baltimore, the Texans have a chance. The problem is they have to bring their coach and quarterback.… Read More
“I can’t believe what I just saw!” – Jim Buck
What? Did that just happen? Please don’t tell me that Tim Tebow just won a playoff game. This weird hokey story was great during the regular season, but I don’t want the magic of Tebow being a factor in my playoff picture. I thought the Broncos would be crushed by the Steelers, and then we could wipe our hands of the murder like Lady Macbeth (Shakespeare style). I was hoping that Tim Tebow would just be something smelly on the side of the road. And yes he is that smelly thing on the side, but instead of driving past him. We stopped the car, scraped him up, and now we have to eat him for dinner next week.
You have to give Tim Tebow a lot of credit. He played big-time, and as much as I don’t want him in the playoffs.… Read More
Tim Tebow must start the season as the Denver Broncos starting quarterback. I don’t think there are many people who could disagree with that. Whether he won or lost against the Steelers today, Tebow earned his spot as the team’s rightful starting quarterback.
The bottom line still isn’t wins. It’s how Tebow gets those wins. Today, Tim Tebow’s starring role against the Steelers was not accompanied by an Oscar worthy performance from luck (god?) for best supporting actor. Tebow time wasn’t reserved specifically for the 4th quarter as the Broncos’s won this game in a manner that John Elway could be proud of who seemed genuinely happy today. I know, right?
Tim Tebow showed the organization they need to stick with him. Even the fiercest critics, such as myself, of Tebow’s stumbling and bumbling inspector Clouseau-like (see my tweet) style of play have to concede this one to the real chosen1.… Read More
Pittsburg Steelers vs. Denver Broncos
“Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow”
There’s really no need to waste time breaking down this game. The Broncos stink. They’re lucky to even be in the playoffs, and had it not been for the consistently inconsistent San Diego Chargers. They wouldn’t be in the playoffs. So Denver should go out there sling it around for a while and get off the stage.
The Steelers are far better than Denver. The only way they lose this game is if they start looking towards next week. I know they have a lot of injuries, and may think it prudent to take it easy down the stretch. However, you have to plan to the wall. Don’t allow for any of that flukey hero stuff down the stretch.
Pittsburg wins 20 – 9
Cincinnati Bengals vs. Houston Texans
This is the game where neither team has a clear advantage. That means we’re going all gut here (Andy Reid style).… Read More
On Christmas morning of this year, I reluctantly agreed to go with a friend to Sunday church. I have nothing against church, it’s just never been my “thing”. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m anti-church, but I am anti-not-watching-NFL-football. As hesitant as I was, I agreed because it was a good friend. Besides, the NFL scheduled every game except one to be played the day before, and the seemingly pre-determined Packers/Bears game wasn’t kicking off until 5:30pm. Church would in no way interfere with my religion.
Upon arriving, I was absolutely shocked. Right there, in the house of God on a Sunday morning, entire rows of people were “Tebow-ing”. If you are unfamiliar with Tebow-ing, it’s the unexplainable phenomenon of mimicking the end zone celebration of Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as big of an NFL fan as you will ever find, but there is a time and place for everything; church on Christmas morning was neither the time nor place to be re-enacting an end zone celebration.… Read More