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Calendar by Kieran O'Shea
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Don’t You Dare Criticize Lincoln (The Movie)
*****Spoiler Alert…I Think?!!*****
Lincoln is nominated for one hundred forty seven Academy Awards, and somehow it will manage to win one hundred and fifty. So I guess we’re all supposed to be enthralled with this movie; A movie which we all knew the plot, setting, and ending, as soon as we knew the title.
But allow me to point out some criticisms at the risk of being struck down.
Thaddeus Stevens (Tommy Lee Jones) had a black wife and no one carried
There are a lot of things that you could keep secret back in the 1800s, but having a black wife isn’t one of them. Despite the fact of there being no internet or Polaroid technology, I think someone would have found out. Especially since black people were slaves.
All you have to do is what for the black woman that gets new dresses and never leaves the house.… Read More
Joe Biden Getting Aggressive, because His Boy Obama Got Slapped
So Joe Biden, went overly agressive dude at the strip club, during the Vice Presidential debate (I’m not sure if it’s actually a Vice Presidential debate, but it sounds right), to try to make up for the way Barack Obama got slapped around by Mitt Romney last week. Now I didn’t watch the Vice Presidential, because I don’t pay attention to the help (Scarface style).1 I did however hear about it via the front page of a newspaper that I didn’t buy.2 Apparently Joe Biden tried to make up for the unemotional egg that Obama dropped in his first debate. And while I understand his motive, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. And I say that based on experience.
I use to have a buddy named Justin that shot hoops at my house when I was a kid. Justin was someone I thought was an overall cool guy, but what I didn’t know is that he was running an elementary scale, breaking bad like Marijuana operation.… Read More
The 10th Anniversary of Kanye West’s The College Dropout…the Year Hip Hop Changed
It’s been ten years since Kanye West announced his arrival on the music scene with The College Dropout. Back then West was just some guy wearing cashmere Polos. This was back before he became a pop-culture controversy magnet. It may be hard for you to remember that far back, but try to take yourself there. Go back to before he stated that George Bush didn’t care about black people or jumped on stage drunk during award show, just to scare a teenage girl. Remember when you oblivious to the fact that he had an ego that was larger than Star Jones pre-surgery. Go back 10 years when he was just a guy that was just a genius producer.
The year before The College Dropout came out. Rap music was at a standstill. While the industry was healthy, there wasn’t any progress (that is also the definition of a stand still.… Read More
Will Ferrell does an interestingly unfunny introduction for the Chicago Bulls and New Orleans Hornets
So Will Ferrell announced the starting lineups for the Chicago Bulls and New Orleans Hornets last night. How he got the job is kind of confusing. I guess he was in town to film a movie, and David Stern called and said, “Hey Will, could you come to the arena and do a favor for ya boy. I’m still trying to sell this putrid New Orleans franchise, and if I could somehow trick someone into buying it would be great. So, if you could get on the microphone and lay down some witty anecdotes, I may be able to swindle Seattle into taking this team. Potentially you could help me may disguise the fact that I facilitated one of the worse trades of all time. ‘Damn that trade was terrible’. I think I may end up challenging Michael Jordan for the worse GM of all time (I wouldn’t go that far).”
So Will Ferrell walk to center court last night and it looked something like this.… Read More
The Off – Beat: By The Numbers with Mitt Romney
Here’s a look at last week’s headlines . . .
By the Numbers
1. The number of Iranian nuclear scientists killed by a bomb this week (I’ll let you figure out the irony in that one).
2. The number of years since a 7.0 magnitude earthquake tore through the nation of Haiti, devastating a nation, which still sees 1 billion people displaced from the disaster.
3. The number of teenagers shot, following a series of gunshots in Southeast, Washington, DC at approximately 9AM Thursday morning . . . wait for it . . . yes, you’re correct, they should’ve been in school. Michelle Rhee just didn’t think about the possibility of gun – violence when she fired 500 teachers in less than a semester on the job.
4. The number of Top Republican Primary candidates, which have been deemed ineligible to run for the primary in the state of Virginia, due to a new Virginia law.… Read More
Welcome To Comedic Prose
I don’t know if you’re here by mistake, or if you actually plan your day around this post. Hopefully you planned your day around the launch of this site. I enjoy the idea of some desperate guy setting pacing while he watches the clock on the microwave thinking, “I wonder what the first piece will be in The Purple Drank (we’ll get to the purple later). The bottom line is you made it, and you’re in a good spot.
The Comedic Prose is the newest and eventually the best destination for comedy online. The goal of this site is to bring comedy content in written form (hence the name comedic prose) that you can then share with you friends. Then they will share it with their friends. So this joint can eventually blow up like Amy Winehouse on a coke binge (too soon…didn’t think so).
We’re going to bring you content in several areas.… Read More
Kortney Shane Williams is the founder and edito-in-chief of Comedic Prose. He is an objective Cleveland sports fan that is beyond desperate for a championship.
He is more known for being an international touring stand-up comedian that currently considers Seattle Washington to be his home. His most recent full length comedy album entitled, “I’m Right about This" is available on iTunes.
