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EP 30: Man Slaps Girl in NYC Subway Kortney talks about the viral NYC Subway slap

EP 27: BET Hip-Hop Awards; Breaking Bad Kortney talks about the BET Hip-Hop Awards and Breaking Bad Action Figures.

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Cleveland Cavalier Fan’s Reaction to the 2012 NBA Finals: Part 1

I guess it’s time for the Cleveland Cavalier fan to emerge. Personally I had to give the Cleveland fan inside me some time to recover. I actually started my recovery 3 minutes into the 3rd quarter. When I realized that the Oklahoma City Thunder were intent on putting Kendrick Perkins on the floor, just so they could watch him get his shot get his shot blocked. And when Mike Miller hit his 15th 3-pointer in row, I thought it was a good time to jog 3 miles in hopes of getting some of that pissed off, off of me. If I would have stayed in front of my tube T.V., I would have probably thrown an MGD at it.

Fortunately my low only lasted until the next day. That’s when I got to hear the Championship Rant on the Dan LeBatard Show with Stugotz and Hock.

Listening to someone gloat about breaking my heart has never made me feel so good.… Read More

NCCA Football’s Slippery Final Four Slope

The previous BCS system was flawed.

It was a system most of us were not willing to live with. A playoff system was necessary to bring absolute fairness to the world of College Football.

College Football fans across the country have gotten their wish. It was announced yesterday that, starting in 2014, a 4-team, seeded playoff system will be implemented pending approval of the university presidents who serve on the BCS committee. Like Kim Kardashian’s divorce to Kris Humphries, this is an inevitable conclusion to a controversy that could only be resolved with one solution.

What next though?

By finally giving in and moving to a playoff format, the NCAA has created a slippery slope that will get steeper and steeper as the years go on.

The critics to the unfairness of the current BCS system have been silenced but for how long? As I’m sure people will realize, this newly proposed playoff system is far from perfect.… Read More

Michael Jordan’s Charlotte Bobcats plan working to perfection

The Charlotte Bobcats needed a basketball coach to be the face of their fledgling franchise, and that’s just what they did. They hired some guy named Mike Dunlap. All you really need to know is he been a college assistant coach for the last 4 years. He latest stop was at St. Johns. Yes that St. Johns. The St. Johns that has been pedestrian, and made the NCAA Tournament once since prohibition. And yes, I’m talking about that NCAA Tournament. The Tournament that lets in virtually every team in the Union. I think if me and two other guys formed a team. They would let us play 3 on 3.

I can’t speak to Dunlap’s qualifications as an NBA coach, but you would think that with his resume an NBA team would stay away. Not Michael Jordan. My man is the undisputed champion of awarding unqualified individuals. After watching him draft Kwame Brown and Adam Morrison, this is to be expected.… Read More

Oklahoma City Thunder, Because of Kevin Durant


Kevin Durant’s numbers are exactly what would be expected of a superstar.

It’s a good thing for the Oklahoma City Thunder that Kevin Durant isn’t all superstar though. That’s not a knock on Kevin Durant. In fact, it’s the biggest reason why the Thunder have been able to mature into one of the two best teams in the league. Maybe the best.

Sure, KD has become not only the best pure scorer in the NBA but also a much more complete player. Yeah, he has established himself as a closer that we can compare to Michael Jordan without sounding completely ridiculous. It’s true, he has led OKC to the NBA Finals.

But the Thunder are thriving now because of Kevin Durant’s personality. His easy-going nature has allowed Oklahoma City to become the dominating force that they are today. While superstars are generally thought of to be this type A, dictatorship-like personality, Kevin Durant is governing his team democratically.… Read More

Rooting for The Oklahoma City Thunder in the NBA Finals, the lesser of two evils

The Oklahoma City Thunder and The Miami Heat, will play Game 1 of the NBA Finals tonight. Oklahoma City is the better team, and I expect them to win the Finals in dominating fashion. I believe they could possibly sweep the Heat. However that rarely happens, so I’m picking Oklahoma City in six games. Now that I have gotten my pukey uninspired prediction out of the way, let’s move to the real issue.

Who will I root for?

Naturally I have an inclination to root against anything associated with LeBron James. I stopped drinking Powerade because his face is on the bottle. Actually that’s not completely true. I stopped drinking red Powerade only because his face is only on that bottle, but I still enjoy a refreshing Arctic Shatter after a long day1. So naturally I can’t stand the Miami Heat. I don’t like their uniforms, the Heat girls, or that cynical, “My work is beautiful look” on Pat Riley’s face during games.… Read More

The UFC won by unanimous decision thanks to Manny Pacquiao’s fixed fight

I watched the Manny Pacquiao fight this morning, because I don’t pay for paper view when I’ve never heard of whose fighting. Sure I know Pacquiao, but who is Timothy Bradley? That sounds like a guy that pumps gas in Oregon. There would have been a better chance of me buying that fight between Vanilla Ice and Who’s the Boss. Nevertheless, I got a chance to watch Manny Pacquiao vs. Timothy Bradley.

I came into the fight knowing the controversial split decision that was award to Bradley. So I was prepared to be a contrarian and find any way to say Bradley won the fight. I even took out my 1999 score card from the Oscar De La Hoya vs. Felix Trinidad fight for good luck. However, after 9 rounds I was struggling to figure out who on earth could have scored any rounds against Pacquiao. So for the last 3 rounds I decided to come up with theories on why the judges would award some guy named Tim Bradley with a win.… Read More

Seattle Mariners hit bottom, with a six man no-hitter


The Seattle Mariners tossed a six man no-hitter. That’s right, a six man no-hitter. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. I thought after the first pitcher was out, it was over. I didn’t know you could combine player stats. Someone should have told the New York Mets a week ago, because I’m sure they would have pulled Johan Santana. Instead of letting him go bionic man, and throw his arm off for the sake of history. So credit the Seattle Mariners on reading the fine print on the qualifications of a no-hitter. Thanks to that clause, Jun 8th 2012 will be known as the day the Seattle Mariners hit bottom.

The Mariners made history, but not the type of history you want to make. A six man no-hitter is an indictment not an accomplishment. It should be viewed the same way as John Daly golfing shirtless, or Mike Tyson going bath salts on Evander Holyfield’s ear.… Read More

Russell Westbrook naysayers, “Where you be at?”


Russell Westbrook deserves a lot of credit for the success of the Oklahoma City Thunder. He’s been stepping as a leader on the team, and has increased his defensive intensity. Along with Thabo Sefolosha, Westbrook has been able to stymie Tony Parker’s offense this series. It’s time for everyone to acknowledge him as one of the elite point guards in the NBA. Now I’m not saying he’s Chris Paul or Rajon Rondo, but he’s in the next tier. One thing that is not debatable is that he’s clearly better than Derrick Rose1.

All the “Derrick Rose is better than Westbrook people” where you be at? I know you’ll are out there, because anytime I tell you the truth about your limited super hero. You bite my face off like a dude on bath salts. So where are you? Perhaps you’re at home, running the back game 5 and marveling at a midrange jump shot that actually goes in.… Read More

Tiger Woods and golf are one again


Golf is nothing without Tiger Woods and Tiger Woods is nothing without golf.

Filling the void that was left by Tiger Woods during his hiatus from relevancy on the PGA tour was impossible. When you know that something better is out there, complete satisfaction is out of the question. There was always the possibility that Tiger could return to a form close to his former self.

Rory McIlroy tried his best to put golf on the map without Tiger. He won the U.S. Open in a Tiger dominating fashion last year but has been crashing and burning lately. However, it probably doesn’t matter all that much for golf that McIlroy has been experiencing these bumps in the road on his way to superstardom.

Tiger is where it’s at.

As long as Tiger is able to show flashes of competing at a high level on the PGA tour, no one else will truly be relevant in golf.… Read More

MTV Awards Are Tonight, and It’s All Their Fault


The MTV Movie Awards will be held tonight in some weird location. It’s actually probably going to be in L.A. or New York, but who cares. They could be holding it in my kitchen, and I would order out. So, I could avoid catching a part of the ceremony. The person responsible for organizing this makeshift event should be ashamed. And I’m talking about big/large scale shame. The type of shame you feel when you wake up on the front steps of strip club. However the worse part about the MTV Movie Awards is the people watching them. To those people I have one question, “Why?” Are you getting valuable information out of them? Are considering renting John Carter, and you just want the experts at MTV’s opinion first? Perhaps you all want to torcher yourself, but you don’t have a bear trap lying around the house. So you figure you’ll watch the award show.… Read More

Cleveland Cavaliers may be doomed with Harrison Barnes at the #4 pick


With the Rookie of the year in Kyrie Irving and 4 picks in the 2012 Draft. The Cleveland Cavaliers seem to headed in the right direction. The only problem is they have the potentially catastrophic #4 pick in the 2012 NBA draft, also known as, Harrison Barnes.

If the Cavaliers draft Barnes, there is a 97.7% chance that the pick will be wasted. Only thing that keeps me from going the full 100% is his ability to shoot, and the fact that I’m a coward. Plus if they do draft him, the 2.3% gives me the ability say, “Well maybe I was wrong.” The problem is he’s a guy that underachieved for 2 years with a team that was loaded with talent. He was supposed the guy that put the ACC on its head, the only freshman to ever make the ACC Preseason first team. However he never showed up, and in the end, wasn’t even the best player on his team.… Read More

Put your tears away for Nicklas Lidstrom


Apparently, it’s sad that Nicklas Lidstrom is retiring.

Sorry if you don’t see me balling my eyes out.

Lidstrom will go down as one of the greatest defenseman to ever play the game and rightfully so. He played 20 seasons , won 7 Norris Trophies, 4 Stanley Cups, 1 Conn Smythe and, for whatever it’s worth, has been voted to 12 all-star games. You don’t get named by The Sporting News and Sports Illustrated as the “NHL Player of the Decade” for nothing.

These aren’t gloomy days though. I mean, this isn’t Brett Favre retiring for the 1st time.

Fans love to buy into the narrative of the man commonly referred to as “Mr. Perfect.” That narrative is by no means wrong. However, this thought of a player who epitomizes what it means to be the captain and leader of a franchise seems to entice people more than the actual player himself.… Read More

  • See Me Live, (Stand-Up Style) Comedy Showcase

    The first Sunday of every month Kortney hosts and produces a stand-up comedy show at Naked City Brewery & Taphouse in Seattle entitled, (Stand-Up style) Comedy Showcase Naked City Brewery You can buy tickets now on Brown Paper Tickets…more

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