Posted on | December 4, 2013 | No Comments
The idea that Robinson Cano would play for the Seattle Mariners is preposterous. He is using the Mariners to get a contract from a team that he really wants to play for.
Now I applaud Seattle for their inconsequential effort. It’s nice for them to try to land a good player. I’m use to them investing in slap single hitters, with the goal of making more money. However, I am starting to concede that they may be changing their stripes. Over the last 3 seasons they took a run at Prince Fielder, Josh Hamilton, and they got rid of Ichiro. When you couple that with their push to sign Cano, you have to take notice. Perhaps the Mariners are trying to be relevant? Maybe they have finally figure out that Safeco Field wasn’t built for them to profit off of ticket holders. While fielding a Triple-A baseball team.
For a minute, let’s say Cano goes to Seattle.… Read More
Posted on | November 26, 2013 | No Comments
If you haven’t seen Kanye West’s new video Bound 2, you haven’t missed anything. You can easily find the video on the internet. But you can also keep downloading music through Limewire (the latter is more likely to lead to less viruses).
Or if you’re so inclined, you can click on the embedded video below.
I would like to say the Kanye West Bound 2 video was awful, but I can’t build up that kind of passion. I just don’t care. It was a lame video, that I watched one time, and never plan on seeing again. After the video was over I had the same feeling I had after watching This is 40, “Oh yeah…that was whatever, now delete that off my hard drive.”
I guess Kim Kardashian was the woman in the video. Who knew? Apparently the answer to that question is everyone but me. I didn’t know it was her until my wife said, “Kimye was in that video.” Of course I followed up confusingly ask, “What the hell is Kimye.” And then she proceeded to remind me why I don’t pay attention to celebrity’s personal lives.… Read More
Posted on | November 26, 2013 | No Comments
The Chicago Bulls have decided to sideline star point guard Derrick Rose for the remainder of the 2013-2014 NBA season. After barely ten games, Rose hurt his other knee, and instead of running himself into an Achilles tear like he would have two years ago, Derrick (and I’m sure his brother Reggie) decided to take the path of least resistance . . . literally, by taking the entire rest of the year off (again) to rehab. More important than this news is the ramifications. Below is my top three most important reactions to this news. I wanted to just do one. But as that math teacher doing fractions in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory said: “I can’t just do one!” As always, your comments, changes, and additions to this list, as always, are welcomed and encouraged.
- The Bulls NEED to Tank!
I say need, because it NEEDS to be said. Why? Because unlike any other team in this scenario, with this draft in front of them, the Chicago Bulls are the one team, with the one coach, who would rather die as an eighth seed in the playoffs than take and have a chance at a number one pick??? I’d take my chances with the Ping Pong balls.… Read More
Posted on | October 30, 2013 | No Comments
There’s one word we can’t stop hearing about. Whether it’s Brad “Billy Bean” Pitt with that guy from “Superbad” on the big screen, or the real-life roster of The St. Louis Cardinals. Moneyball. Everyone’s trying to buy statistics, not stars. And as a long-time L.A. Lakers fan, I’m excited, that my team is forced to buy into the same philosophy.
Last night, as I was already reeling from watching the Miami Heat look just as dominant as they did in the last six minutes of Game 6 of The 2013 NBA Finals. I decided (against my better judgment) to watch the late game, where my Lakers would take on The L.A. Clippers. I was already prepared for the inevitable beat-down. I was already braced for a Rondo-infused CP3 throwing alley-oops to a much improved Deandre Jordan, and a greatly marketed Blake Griffin. I was ready to watch Nate Collison run defensive circles around Steve Nash as he did in last year’s opener for the Dallas Mavericks. I was prepared to see a Laker team, so desperate, so devoid of talent, that Kobe would literally inject himself with HGH while sitting behind the bench, tear off his suit, and hobble on the court like Willis Reed, play 48 minutes and overtime, and then sprain an MCL .… Read More
Posted on | October 29, 2013 | No Comments
Kryie Irving of the Cleveland Cavaliers, is back with another episode of Uncle Drew. Now I don’t know if the title of this series is actually called “Uncle Drew”, but that’s what I call it. I think it’s called Pepsi Max…Max series of Max…or some confusing combination of those words. It really doesn’t matter what combination of words Pepsi chose to get their brand name in the title of this series, because it’s not about Pepsi. It’s about BUCKETS!
Before you see the name if the characters at the end of the video, guess who they are. Personally I thought the characters where Kyrie Irving, Ty Lawson, and Candace Parker. Also feel free to post a comment on my post with who you think the characters in makeup are. Prior to them reveling it to you at the end.
Now enjoy yourself!
So its official, Kyrie Irving is the Eddie Murphy of the NBA.… Read More
Posted on | October 25, 2013 | No Comments
You may be asking yourself, “How does Kyrie Irving of the Cleveland Cavaliers celebrate being name the 8th best player in the NBA, by ESPN?” Well, he take people ice skating.
It can be debated, whether Kyrie Irving is or isn’t the 8th best player in the NBA. What can’t be debated is his sick handle, and the that he will take a lot of people on free ice skating trips this year.
(Uncle Drew style)
Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose
Posted on | October 25, 2013 | No Comments
I went to see Kanye West, in Seattle, at his first stop on the Yeezus tour.
Note self: Don’t ever, ever ever ever ever, be the first stop on a tour again.
My Yeezus experience started off late. And by late I mean, the show was supposed to start at 8 o’ clock and the doors didn’t open until 8:30. Kendrick Lamar hit the stage at 10 0′ clock, and Kanye came out at 11:30. The show finally ended at 1:30 am, with me tired and confused. I actually wanted to write about this concert the day after the show, but I couldn’t stay awake. The only way I would have been able to write that night, is if that guy from A Clockwork Orange came to my house, and put clothes pins on my eye lids.
The whole Yeezus experience was confusing, creative, and entertaining. It was basically the personification of what Kanye West is.… Read More
Posted on | October 21, 2013 | No Comments
The Comedy Show went down again last night for the second time. I guess you can call it The Comedy Show: 2 (I think I’m going to count down ever show like a UFC event). Featured on the show was Mitch Burrow, Jameson Milton, and Geoff Brousseau. Everyone on the show did well and I didn’t hear a negative word from anyone at the show.
Please note: I told people that if they wanted to complain, message me directly through Facebook. I said that because I don’t read my Facebook messages. So someone could have been really pissed, and I just ignored them.
The show turnout was fantastic. Thanks to everyone who came out and gave of their time and money. Also the turnout hit my personal threshold for doing another show. So I am happy to announce that there will be another show November the 17th at 8:30 at The Comedy Underground.… Read More
Posted on | October 5, 2013 | 2 Comments
I got the crazy opportunity to open up for Dave Chappelle for a weekend. I will spare you the details on how it came together. I sure you want to know, but, it’s none of your business. Plus if I tell all 200 of the people that read my website1, one of those people may know somebody, that knows somebody that does comedy, and maybe they’ll be the person that responds to a craigslist post.
It was a great weekend.
I got to meet Chappelle and perform on sold out shows at The Moore Theater all weekend. On a side note. I can’t wait until 20 years from now when someone ask me, what my biggest turnout was. And I can honestly lie and say I sold out the Moore Theater 3 nights in a row.
I would like to say the whole thing was surreal and I was nervous, but that would be a fairytale, and there are no fairytales in Shawshank.… Read More
Posted on | October 1, 2013 | No Comments
The first of – what I hope will be – a monthly comedy series, appropriately titled The Comedy Show. Went down last Sunday, at The Comedy Underground. I want to thank everyone that came out. Especially since the weather conditions stunk. I thought I saw the devil dumping buckets of water right in front of the comedy club. On the bright side, it cut down of the number of junkies that scare people on the way in.
All the comics on the show made me look good. I got nothing but positive comments from the audience. People actually thanked me, for their performances. So thank you Jamal Harrington, Yogi Paliwal, and Brett Hamil for increasing my street cred.
So about now you’re probably asking yourself, “How can I get in on this funny.” Well…you can get in!
October 20th, 8:30 pm at the Comedy Underground
Tickets are: $10 in advance $12 at the door
The Comedy Underground
109 S.… Read More
Posted on | September 28, 2013 | No Comments
If you’re a Cleveland Indians fan, or someone that’s simply a fan of competent baseball. Do you trust Chris Perez?
It may seem like a complex question on the surface, but if you’ve been paying attention. There is only one correct answer, “Hell No!”
If you struggled with the previous question. I want to know what drugs you’re taking, and if Lindsay Lohan can get some.
Perez has been flat out awful. Anytime I see him in uniform I get nervous – And I’m not talking about, “I have to make a big public speech nervous.” I’m talking about, “I have to take a dump, and I’m in a hurry. So I’m going to illegally drive in the carpool lane…Oh no I just got pulled over by the cops, nervous.”
Chris Perez has been horrible this year. Not only has be blown enough games to personally keep the Indians out of the playoff, but he also had that weird marijuana thing, that he ended up missing games for.… Read More
Posted on | September 11, 2013 | No Comments
I Kortney Shane Williams, will be producing a comedy show at the Comedy Underground in Seattle Washington, September 29th at 8pm titled, Kortney Shane Williams Presents: The Comedy Show. This show will be the first of what I hope will turn into a monthly comedy show.
Because I don’t do many show in Seattle (I actually have been performing a lot in Canada. Not because of the money, but because I get to hit up that duty free shop on the way back. I get pissed of paying $15 of tax on a $5 bottle of Potter’s in Seattle. So performing in Victoria, BC as much as possible is my personal protest) many people ask – and by many I mean every time I leave the house and someone asks what I do – , “When I will be performing in Seattle?” Well, here it is. Come out to the comedy underground in Seattle and check out the show.… Read More