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Comedic Proseon

THE LAST SHOW PODCAST

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EP 21: Kendrick Lamar Theft? Kortney talks about Kendrick Lamar being sued over Rigamortis and the (Ray Rice video).

EP 19: LeBron James returns to Cleveland rant Kortney rants about LeBron James' return to the Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Stand-Up By Me

July’s Show was a packed house…next Taphouse Showcase Sunday September 7th

Posted on | August 18, 2014 | No Comments

NakedCityShowAug-

Thanks to everyone who came out to July’s Taphouse Sessions Comedy Showcase. It was a packed house and everyone enjoyed themselves. If you think I’m lying look at the Instagram picture above (by the way you can follow me on Instagram @kortneyshane), and if people didn’t enjoy themselves I wouldn’t be writing this post. Instead, the head of Naked City Brewery would have yanked the show, and I would be eviscerating people who didn’t show up.

So thank you for allowing us the see another month.

Also special thanks to Geoff Brousseau for coming by and doing a set.

 

The next Taphouse Sessions Comedy Showcase is Sunday September 7th at 7pmNakedCitySept7th

Tickets are $6 in advance and $10 at the door

Get tickets now at: Brown Paper Tickets

The Taphouse Sessions is Seattle’s premiere Sunday night standup showcase, bringing a rotating selection of audaciously talented performers to the keg-lined stage at Naked City Brewery.… Read More

Last Show, EP 22: Did Roger Goddell waste you time too?

Posted on | September 19, 2014 | No Comments

roger-goodell

I watch/listened to that entire Roger Goodell press conference. So I can confirm that, it was the complete waste of time that I thought it would be. Roger Goodell was droning and uninspiring. I haven’t seen a cheaper empty suit since I last shopped at Burlington Coat Factory. However, there was one thing worth seeing . It was hard to catch, but if you looked closely, you could see Geppetto pulling the strings on his suit coat.

He went on and on about how he was wrong, and now he’s found the light. So there’s no need for him to resign. Instead it’s time for him to make things right. Roger just wants to give him one more chance…and another chance…followed by another chance if another elevator video comes out. Speaking of another chance, it was pretty funny when the guy from TMZ Sports asked Goodell how come he didn’t get the video.… Read More

LeBron James, using that Hair Butta?

Posted on | September 18, 2014 | No Comments

lebron-hairline

Oh no, no, no, LeBron James. Say it ain’t so (Weezer style). Are you stealing Hair Butta out of Carlos Boozer’s medicine cabinet1?

So LeBron James revealed his new shoe earlier this week. He also revealed a crisp hairline.

I guess I’m supposed to defend this behavior, because LeBron plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers. He did bring Kevin Love, Mike Miller, Shawn Marion, and James Jones to Cleveland (what…James Jones). So I’m indebted to James to some degree.

At the same time I can’t co-sign on any use of The Hair Butta. But I will give LeBron a tip.

“LeBron, don’t be so aggressive with the administering of Butta. Add it in gradually. Think of it like Mr. Miyagi, and wax on…then wax a little off. Then once people get use to the new look add a little more. Then a little more. Until you get it to you desired level of shine.… Read More

New Samsung Galaxy Note 4 Commercial is so Petty, and I love it

Posted on | September 14, 2014 | No Comments

Samsung-Galaxy-Note-II-Size-Comparison-to-Samsung-Galaxy-S-III

If you haven’t seen the new Samsung commercial attacking the IPhone 6. Then you need to watch the video below right now.

In the meantime I’ll go get a glass of apple drink.

 

 

Samsung releasing a commercial to point that Apple is copping their style. The same week Apple announced their new phone is petty and spiteful…and I love it (Young Jeezy style, or is it just Jeezy stlye?). It’s also a little rap battleish. I think Samsung should have had No Vaseline playing in the background.

 

When the IPhone first emerged, they cornered the market on being an individual. They were the only company that had a universal phone, a universal charger, an uncustomizable home screen, and a whole lot people thinking this was a good idea.

In recent years Apple has flip the script. Now they sell phones in every color of the tropical rainbow, and they have distinctively different models.… Read More

Last Show, EP 21: Kendrick Lamar’s Theft?; (Ray Rice video)

Posted on | September 8, 2014 | No Comments

I only wanted to talk about Kendrick Lamar, and the million dollar lawsuit that he’s facing. However when the Ray Rice video(watch on TMZ here) came out I decided to address that as well.

I do get the chance to talk about Rigamortis, and the allegations that he stole some music. If he did steal, I would suggest he take some advice from Teddy KGB, and “Pay that man his money”(watch part of Rounders here).

Enjoy the podcast, and subscribe on iTunes.

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane

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Ray Rice video released, and Ray Rice released

Posted on | September 8, 2014 | No Comments

Ray-Rice-Video

So the video of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was released by TMZ Sports. Click here to view the video.

I don’t have much to say about the actual video. I think it’s extremely disturbing, and I don’t even know how Rice can look himself in the mirror. Outside of that, the only thing that pops in my mind is street fighter jokes. So I’m going to recuse myself.

Going forward Ray Rice has to be gone. His career in the NFL is over, because there is no coming back from that video. Domestic violence is a terrible crime when talked about. However, when a video like the Rice video is attached to the crime it make the person who committed the crime toxic.

 

By the way this just in. Ray Rice cut and suspended indefinitely!

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane
Read More

Last Show, EP 20: 2014 Cleveland Browns Preview

Posted on | August 28, 2014 | No Comments

PodcastLogo1400x1400

So I decided to record a podcast of my 2014 Cleveland Browns preview.

I needed to amend some things I said. Mainly that the Browns would make the playoffs (spoiler alert). I recorded this pre Josh Gordon banishment.

Also I need to squeeze off a podcast. It’s been too long, or as Timbaland would say,

 

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane

Read More

2014 Cleveland Brown’s Season Preview

Posted on | August 27, 2014 | No Comments

In honor of the Cleveland Browns Season kicking off. I did a couple short videos to preview their season.

I drop some bold predictions, and I will give you a sneek peek on one. The Cleveland Browns are going to be elite on defense.

I previewed both the offense and the defense, and threw in some funny graphics.

So check out the videos.

 

 

 

 

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane
Read More

NFL may make me lose respect for Coldplay

Posted on | August 20, 2014 | No Comments

coldplay

It’s rumored that the NFL has selected their group of finalists to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show. Among the finalists to perform is Coldplay (there are also some other people in the group of finalist, but they’re not worth mentioning. The most they can get is a footnote here1). Which on the surface seems great. I mean its Coldplay. There one of the biggest rock groups in the world. Also they still have all their motor skills, unlike the recent super bowl performers. You may not like Coldplay, but if the alternative is Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band. You’re probably taking the lesser of two evils. I like Bob Seger just as much as the next black kid that grew up in the suburbs, but after Turn the Page. The song book gets kind of thin2. You have to embrace the fact that the acts appear to be getting younger.… Read More

Looks like Rickie Fowler shops at Lids

Posted on | August 11, 2014 | No Comments

Rickie Fowler of the U.S. holds up his ball after making par on the third hole during the final round of the 2014 PGA Championship at Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville

I don’t know who Rickie Fowler is, but he’s seems like a dude I’d like to hangout out with. First of all he gets all his clothes from Marshalls. So I know we would mesh financially. I don’t have to worry about him picking some expensive place to eat. Rickie seems like the dude that would be down to hit the salad bar at Ruby Tuesdays.

Also he gets all his hats at lids. My boy Fowler isn’t getting those hats custom made. He’s grabbing them joints straight off the rack. I’m surprised he’s not rocking the gold new era tag on the bill of the cap. Rickie should go all the way with his fashion and start wearing Chuck Taylors. I sure he could find an orange pair at Foot Locker.

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane
Read More

Will Tiger Woods’ hard head makes a soft a**

Posted on | August 6, 2014 | No Comments

Tiger2008

“A hard head makes a soft ass” I grew up knowing what that expression meant before I had the ability to form a clear thought. That’s probably why I’ve never been arrested, because somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear my dad saying that on a loop.

Apparently Tiger Woods was raised in a different way. He must have been raised on that no pain no gain mantra. Where you push your body to the limit and then push it some more. Where if you concede to an injury it somehow means you’re less of a man. That seems like the case, because dude hasn’t shown the ability to stop. His body is literally screaming at him for a break and he ignores it like a manager at a sweat shop.

I will admit that one of the greatest sports moments I witnessed was Tiger Woods winning the 2008 U.S.… Read More

Who are Josh Gordon’s friends?

Posted on | July 31, 2014 | No Comments

Josh

So Josh Gordon of the Cleveland Browns has tested positive for marijuana. Consequently he could be facing a season long suspension.

Now he has appealed the decision on the ground that he was not actually smoking. Rather he was in a hot boxing situation and his positive test was caused by second hand smoke. It makes me wonder, “Who the hell are his friends?” Can’t you let ya boy get a hit? What happened to puff puff give? If Smokey was in the room. He would have said, “Hey man! You’re messing up the rotation!”

People try to argue that marijuana isn’t addictive, but if you’re smoking enough weed to have someone else fail a drug test. You probably need to dial it back. I not saying you should quit, because I’m sure you have a glaucoma condition. However, just lay off a bit…for the kids (it’s always about the kids).… Read More

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    Every month Kortney hosts and produces a stand-up comedy show in Seattle. The next show is Sunday Aug. 3rd at Naked City Brewery You can buy tickets now on Brown Paper Tickets…more

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