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Comedic Proseon

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EP 17: LeBron James' Free Agency Kortney talks about LeBron James' Free Agency.

EP 16: Chris Rock host the B.E.T. Awards Kortney talks about Chris Rock hosting the B.E.T. Awards and review what happened.

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Stand-Up By Me

July’s Show was a packed house…next Taphouse Showcase Sunday September 7th

Posted on | August 18, 2014 | No Comments

NakedCityShowAug-

Thanks to everyone who came out to July’s Taphouse Sessions Comedy Showcase. It was a packed house and everyone enjoyed themselves. If you think I’m lying look at the Instagram picture above (by the way you can follow me on Instagram @kortneyshane), and if people didn’t enjoy themselves I wouldn’t be writing this post. Instead, the head of Naked City Brewery would have yanked the show, and I would be eviscerating people who didn’t show up.

So thank you for allowing us the see another month.

Also special thanks to Geoff Brousseau for coming by and doing a set.

 

The next Taphouse Sessions Comedy Showcase is Sunday September 7th at 7pmNakedCitySept7th

Tickets are $6 in advance and $10 at the door

Get tickets now at: Brown Paper Tickets

The Taphouse Sessions is Seattle’s premiere Sunday night standup showcase, bringing a rotating selection of audaciously talented performers to the keg-lined stage at Naked City Brewery.… Read More

Last Show, EP 20: 2014 Cleveland Browns Preview

Posted on | August 28, 2014 | No Comments

PodcastLogo1400x1400

So I decided to record a podcast of my 2014 Cleveland Browns preview.

I needed to amend some things I said. Mainly that the Browns would make the playoffs (spoiler alert). I recorded this pre Josh Gordon banishment.

Also I need to squeeze off a podcast. It’s been too long, or as Timbaland would say,

 

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane

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2014 Cleveland Brown’s Season Preview

Posted on | August 27, 2014 | No Comments

In honor of the Cleveland Browns Season kicking off. I did a couple short videos to preview their season.

I drop some bold predictions, and I will give you a sneek peek on one. The Cleveland Browns are going to be elite on defense.

I previewed both the offense and the defense, and threw in some funny graphics.

So check out the videos.

 

 

 

 

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane
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NFL may make me lose respect for Coldplay

Posted on | August 20, 2014 | No Comments

coldplay

It’s rumored that the NFL has selected their group of finalists to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show. Among the finalists to perform is Coldplay (there are also some other people in the group of finalist, but they’re not worth mentioning. The most they can get is a footnote here1). Which on the surface seems great. I mean its Coldplay. There one of the biggest rock groups in the world. Also they still have all their motor skills, unlike the recent super bowl performers. You may not like Coldplay, but if the alternative is Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band. You’re probably taking the lesser of two evils. I like Bob Seger just as much as the next black kid that grew up in the suburbs, but after Turn the Page. The song book gets kind of thin2. You have to embrace the fact that the acts appear to be getting younger.… Read More

Looks like Rickie Fowler shops at Lids

Posted on | August 11, 2014 | No Comments

Rickie Fowler of the U.S. holds up his ball after making par on the third hole during the final round of the 2014 PGA Championship at Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville

I don’t know who Rickie Fowler is, but he’s seems like a dude I’d like to hangout out with. First of all he gets all his clothes from Marshalls. So I know we would mesh financially. I don’t have to worry about him picking some expensive place to eat. Rickie seems like the dude that would be down to hit the salad bar at Ruby Tuesdays.

Also he gets all his hats at lids. My boy Fowler isn’t getting those hats custom made. He’s grabbing them joints straight off the rack. I’m surprised he’s not rocking the gold new era tag on the bill of the cap. Rickie should go all the way with his fashion and start wearing Chuck Taylors. I sure he could find an orange pair at Foot Locker.

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane
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Will Tiger Woods’ hard head makes a soft a**

Posted on | August 6, 2014 | No Comments

Tiger2008

“A hard head makes a soft ass” I grew up knowing what that expression meant before I had the ability to form a clear thought. That’s probably why I’ve never been arrested, because somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear my dad saying that on a loop.

Apparently Tiger Woods was raised in a different way. He must have been raised on that no pain no gain mantra. Where you push your body to the limit and then push it some more. Where if you concede to an injury it somehow means you’re less of a man. That seems like the case, because dude hasn’t shown the ability to stop. His body is literally screaming at him for a break and he ignores it like a manager at a sweat shop.

I will admit that one of the greatest sports moments I witnessed was Tiger Woods winning the 2008 U.S.… Read More

Who are Josh Gordon’s friends?

Posted on | July 31, 2014 | No Comments

Josh

So Josh Gordon of the Cleveland Browns has tested positive for marijuana. Consequently he could be facing a season long suspension.

Now he has appealed the decision on the ground that he was not actually smoking. Rather he was in a hot boxing situation and his positive test was caused by second hand smoke. It makes me wonder, “Who the hell are his friends?” Can’t you let ya boy get a hit? What happened to puff puff give? If Smokey was in the room. He would have said, “Hey man! You’re messing up the rotation!”

People try to argue that marijuana isn’t addictive, but if you’re smoking enough weed to have someone else fail a drug test. You probably need to dial it back. I not saying you should quit, because I’m sure you have a glaucoma condition. However, just lay off a bit…for the kids (it’s always about the kids).… Read More

Steve Ballmer and Donald Sterling talked about…

Posted on | July 22, 2014 | No Comments

Steve-Ballmer-Donald-Sterling

So the former racist owner of the Los Angeles Clippers (Donald Sterling), and the maybe/kinda sorta/soon to be owner of the Clippers (Steve Ballmer) had a “friendly conversation.”

What the hell could they have possibly talked about friendly? One guy is trying to take the other guys stuff. And the guy who’s getting his stuff taken is crazy and racist. How on earth did they have a friendly conversation? What scenario did that have to be in for both guys to be at ease? I assume there was some give and take. Maybe they watched Django Unchained1 on the new Microsoft tablet. As Ballmer show Steriling how he was going to take his team.

I don’t know what they talked about, but Steve better watch his back. When you dance2 with Donald Sterling it doesn’t end well. He’s sued his wife who married him, the NBA who made him money, and he use to sleep with a woman who wears a bee keeper’s hat.… Read More

Last Show, EP 19: LeBron James returns to Cleveland rant

Posted on | July 17, 2014 | No Comments

Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald and The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. Does Miami centric rants whenever something great happens for Miami sports.

With LeBron James returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers. I though it was only right that I do a rant for the city of Cleveland. Especially since the Cleveland rants that I’ve heard, aren’t that good.

So this my homage to the Le Batard Show, and my best attempt at a rant.

 

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane

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Complicated relationship between LeBron James and Cleveland fans

Posted on | July 17, 2014 | 2 Comments
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As a fan you felt like he not only represented your team, but he represented you.

Now that LeBron James has returned to the Cleveland Cavaliers. People have asked me how I feel about his return. My answer has always been the same when asked, “Conflicted.”

I can’t speak for all Cleveland fans, but I think I’m correct in saying, that LeBron coming back hasn’t really sunk. Partly because the city is still drunk as a rat from all the celebration, and partially because it’s so unbelievable.

It’s hard for Cleveland to grasp the idea that one of the greatest athletes ever chose them, while in their prime. No one chooses Cleveland. Hell originally LeBron didn’t choose Cleveland.

I don’t believe it will become real until the first home game when LeBron throws the chalk up…and he better throw that chalk up. I don’t want to hear, “Oh this is the new LeBron.… Read More

Last Show, EP 18: LeBron Back to Cleveland, a More Interesting Eastern Conference

Posted on | July 14, 2014 | No Comments

LeBron-Cleveland-Plain-Dealer-comeback

LeBron James is back in Cleveland. So the whole LeBron watch is over. I glad it’s come to an end, but at the sane time the Twitter experience was great. I’ll miss searching Twitter for clues. Trying to figure out if Dan Gilbert was on a plane or what the color pallet was going to be for LeBron website.
I guess it’s time to turn the page and see the effects of decision 2.0. There are a new set of questions surrounding the Eastern Conference. What will happen to the Miami Heat? How much will the Cavaliers improve? Where will Kevin Love go? Who’s going to make the playoffs?
Instead if writing about those things I did a podcast (these fingers don’t type Kornheiser style). Kyle is riding shotgun on the podcast.
Please enjoy and subscribe on iTunes.

Kortney Shane Williams

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“Please LeBron James we have to get some sleep”

Posted on | July 11, 2014 | No Comments

LBJ

I think I speak for everyone when I say, “LeBron just make a decision. I don’t care where you play just announce something. Say Cleveland, say Miami, say you’re going to take the year off and play baseball. Maybe you end up liking Brazil when you go there for the World Cup. I’m sure that have a Rucker Park league there. Perhaps you can move the family there and play pickup games for the next 3 years. Just announce something. Please! This Decision 2 is starting to affect my life. I haven’t slept in 3 days, because I feel like I’m going to miss something on Twitter. I’ve refreshed my phone so much that my thumbs are hurting. I’m the sole reason that your website keeps crashing, because I’ve pulled it up on all 10 of the devices in my house. I feel like Tom Hanks in Cast Away. I haven’t showered in 2 days, I’ve shut off all connection from my family, and I’m curled up fetal talking to a FedEx package.… Read More

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    Every month Kortney hosts and produces a stand-up comedy show in Seattle. The next show is Sunday Aug. 3rd at Naked City Brewery You can buy tickets now on Brown Paper Tickets…more

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